Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is the
Christadelphian Introduction Service?
A: The Christadelphian Introduction Service is for
unmarried Christadelphian brethren (brothers and sisters in Christ who are not currently married) who
are seeking helpmates "in the Lord." The goal of the service is to help
Christadelphian singles in their search for a marriage partner within the
worldwide Christadelphian community.
Q: How does CIS work?
A: A brother or sister in Christ will apply for
membership and must first pass an online interview to verify their identity and
relationship to the Christadelphians. Once their application for
membership has been approved the member will fill out an online personal
profile of themselves (which will always remain private) along with
details about the type of match they are hoping to find. For example, a
brother would fill out his online profile indicating that he would like to
meet a sister who...
+ has been baptized at least 10 years
+ is a non-smoker
+ is a non-drinker
+ wants children
+ is between the age of 30 and 36
+ lives in Australia
A mature Christadelphian "matchmaker" will review the private
profiles of each member and when a match
is found (that is, when the brother's match requirements have been met and the
brother likewise meets the matching sister's requirements) then each of
these two members is contacted by the matchmaker, one at a time, and the members are
provided with a few basic
details about the other, including photographs (see
sample). If both members express interest in making contact with each other then
the matchmaker will reveal the email
addresses and names to these two matched members.
Q: Is there any cost to use this service?
A: No. Currently the service is free to all
Q: Who are you?
A: The "About
us" links at the bottom of every page will provide you with more
details about the brothers and sisters hosting this site and who are
providing this service to the Christadelphian community.
Q: Is CIS just another online social "friends" network like Facebook,
MySpace, Xanga or Yahoo Groups?
A: This service will not be another "Facebook"
or another one of the many social networking sites that are all the rage
these days. The Christadelphian Introduction Service's web site is not a social networking site that
you have to keep visiting day after day, week after week. If we find a
match for you, we will notify you by email. There will be no
sharing of any information between members (with the exception of a
matched member with another matched member).
Q: Why is this service necessary? There are fraternal
gatherings and events where single brothers and sisters can go and get to
know one another. It seems as if too many people no longer trust in the
Lord to lead them to a marriage partner.
A: Christadelphian meetings/communities are often
small and spread out around the world, therefore it is often difficult to
connect with potential marriage partners. The older one gets, the more
difficult it becomes to find eligible singles. It is easy to find and meet
Christadelphian singles when you are 20. By the time you are 40, however,
the task becomes extremely difficult. We are not sure why you believe
using an online introduction service shows a lack of trust in God's
provision. Does using an online service show less "trust in the Lord" than
traveling 400 miles (650 kilometers) to find a marriage partner at a Bible
Q: Will this service be only for those who
have Internet access?
A: Currently the
service is available only to unmarried brothers and sisters who have
Internet access since the web site provides the input mechanism through which the
matchmaker receives data from the member.
Q: What do you say that a member's online
profile is "private," what exactly does this mean?
A: The service is private in the sense that
a member (or non-member) will be unable to determine who the members of
the service are. There will be no way for members to "browse" through the
member database. Only the CIS team has access to the member database.
do we need to use a matchmaker? Can't a member be allowed to just browse
through the member database and choose who they wish to meet?
A: There are many reasons why a "matchmaker"
+ The matchmaker will
verify the identity of each member, including their marital status, age
and their standing and service within the body of Christ. This will help
ensure that members who are not Christadelphians, or brethren who may in
fact be posing as something they are not, are excluded from membership.
This adds a layer of security to the service.
+ Members really have no business viewing
the profiles of other members who don't even match their preference
+ Since the service is private,
someone will have to perform the "unveiling" and "introduction" part − that someone is the matchmaker. Someone has to say, "Elizabeth, I have a
brother here that meets all your preferences. Here are some of his
interests and facts about his background. These are photos of 'Jim'. Would
you be interested in making contact with Jim?" If Elizabeth answers 'yes', then
the matchmaker repeats this exercise with Jim, checking to see whether he
may be interested in Elizabeth. If Jim responds 'yes,' then the
brother is provided with the sister's name and email address, along with instructions to
contact the sister. This protocol makes it easier on everyone. Jim knows in
advance that Elizabeth is receptive to his email, and Jim knows that
Elizabeth isn't going to reject his first attempt to say 'Hello'. By having
a matchmaker in the middle performing these tasks the introduction goes
smoothly. It is less stressful for both parties.
say that I don't like the person that the matchmaker chooses for me, how
can I contact the matchmaker and get someone else to
The matchmaker will
approach both potential matchees via email, one at a time. The matchmaker
will show you photos and some background details about the other potential
matchee (see an example here). If the first party shows no interest in the other party, then the
matchmaker stops and proceeds no further. If, however, the first party
thinks they would be interested in making contact with the other party,
then the matchmaker performs the same exercise with the second party. If
the second party shows no interest in the first party, then the matchmaker
stops and goes no further. If, on the other hand, the second party
likewise thinks they would be interested in the first party, then we have
a match. The matchmaker then provides each of the two parties the names
and email addresses of the other. The brother should make the first move,
sending an introduction email to the sister. After that, the two are on
their own. If something goes sour, and one or both decide the match is not
ideal, they will notify the matchmaker by email and the process will start all over
again. So in reality the matchmaker does not "choose" anyone for
you. YOU are the one who makes all the choices. All the matchmaker does
is notify you when a possible match exists, and waits to see what you
think. The matchmaker does not do the "choosing."
And by the way, we do not
set up dates.
Q: Are you pre-arranging
marriages? I don't like the idea of someone telling me who I should marry.
A: We do not tell you who to marry
or even recommend that you marry. We do not tell you who to date. We do
not tell you who to even say "hello" to. All we do is allow you to fill out a
online request form that will define who you would be interested in making
contact with. If our database currently contains a match, or in the future
contains a match, we will then notify you and ask if you would be
interested in making contact with that person via email. If you say "no,"
then you won't hear a word more from us regarding that failed match. We do
not force you to say "yes" to any potential match, nor do we scold you for
turning down a match. Yes, it is possible that a brother or sister in
Christ that we find in our database may
end up being your future spouse, but we are not the one who determines
Q: How do you handle various Christadelphian fellowships?
A: We confirm that the member is in good standing within their own ecclesia. We do not ask an applicant/member what fellowship they belong to.
Q: How long does it take to
obtain a match?
A: That all depends on dozens of
criterion. The answer could be anywhere from within a week to never.